Two Worlds

It’s been a while since I sat down to write in my diary peacefully. There was chaos everywhere and my thoughts were in disarray. That’s when I received a text on my mobile saying, “You can do it!”. And that’s the second time I heard the same words within the same day. However strange it may sound; those rollercoasters of emotions of loving two people and being loved have kept me sane.

On one hand there’s this man who has been a constant presence, and a trusted companion through all kinds of seasons. It has made us comfortable. It feels like reading your favorite book again. Its pages have may worn out a little bit now, but it is familiar and still brings a warm feeling to myself. The bond between us has been strengthen by mutual respect and understanding.

On the other side, there is this man who came into my life like a sudden gust of wind. He wasn’t a complete stranger but it feels like destiny needs us to intertwine at some point in our lives. Our connection was intense and immediate. It was like a wild fire that melted whatever the coldest parts in my heart. His presence and smell are intoxicating. Whenever he touches me, I swear that little sparks of electricity run through my veins.

My thoughts are rapid and I am unable to put them all in paper as they appear and disappear quickly. Ans there is one question remains which is doesn’t have an easy answer. Can my heart truly belong to two people? Each connection has its own gravity which pull my heart. The presence of familiarity, comfort. And then the exhilaration of the unknown.

I realize that my journey is not just about the men who stand beside me but also about myself. It is not always choosing one over the other. It is about choosing and respecting the connections that enrich our lives. This all may seem so complicated yet so simple because I just love you.

-Chathubhanu